September 30, 2002
There's a bit of philosophical wisdom that I usually run my life by, but lately with all the drama that's been taking place I managed to have forgotten for a while: If you cannot effect something, don't worry about it.
There's a second thing I also try and follow that's more Zen and can be expressed as a relationship between opposing forces; The more you fight something, the more resistance you experience. It's the tar-baby principle: you become attached to what you attack. The only way to get over a bad situation is to let go of what is holding you to it. In this case, my anger. At some point today I just suddenly realized that I could let it go and be free of the anguish of the past few days (well, the past couple of years really). I'm much better now.
Those two simple principles have saved me a lot of grief over the years. Sometimes I just get too distracted by everyday bullshit to remember them.
Posted by ed at September 30, 2002 7:59 PM
Glad to know you have come back to yourself. I have been worried about all of you cats and this negative energy that has been created. Don't let others control your behavior. I would like to think that soon enough our friend will see the mistakes he has made and will get on with repairing his life, FOR HIMSELF. Not because we berate and browbeat him into submission. This is beyond all of our scopes of reason and understanding cause it is not happening to us. Let's just hope for the best and wait it out.
Posted by: ron at September 30, 2002 10:52 PM
I agree. I just came to that realization today.
Posted by: Dana at October 1, 2002 3:57 PM
Nobody is thinking that they can save anybody. People need to realize that their actions affect everyone who comes into contact with them. Yes, it is our friend's problem to contend with, but, being friends, we have a right to be pissed. I've been through the whole co-dependent thing; I know that people are responsible for their own actions. But at the same time, we've got to get our frustrations out or we'll explode.
I've spoken to him. He knows how I feel. That's all that matters. And all this other bullshit drama going on is pointless -- it just adds fuel to the fire.
Posted by: Linda at October 1, 2002 5:47 PM