This is fucking great.
TOP 10 MOST RIDICULOUS BLACK METAL PICS OF ALL TIME.
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated,
hard-willed and not too friendly about it. You
keep people out of places, or you keep them in,
and without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you'll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma'am.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
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I want to be Toshiro Mifune (when he was alive). Or any character he played. The guy was simply phenomenal. Whether he played the insane Kikuchiyo in Seven Samurai or the fearsome Toranaga in Shogun, he always nailed his performance.
As you can see, I've gotten on a Kurosawa kick again. I watched Yojimbo for the first time and immediately got ahold of the sequel, Sanjuro. Subtle, dark humor in a twisted plot. I wish they still made movies like these.
Last week, the Warpigs had a doozie of a game. Taking on a team with a high scoring ringer always lends itself to an interesting night. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that you are getting screwed. When the aforementioned ringer is also a league referee, you know certain buddies of his (wearing stripes) will see the game in his favor.
Rather than bore you with wordy details let me describe the aftermath:
Warpigs were penalized for being Warpigs.
Certain "hi-signs" from player/refs result in Warpig penalties.
Two Warpigs ejected from the game, including the goalie.
A member of the opposing team admitted the game was "bullshit."
Telling a stoned ref that he should lay off the pot and watch the game results in a game misconduct.
Warpigs lost 3-2.
Afterwards, one teammate called the evening "A new level of Warpig hockey."
Amen to that.
Playoffs are going to be a blast.
When people forward an email to me it usually heads to the trash unopened. This gem, however, was worth the read.
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.